It’s me, Rochelle. A lot has changed little girl. You are a lot taller now but you never did grow into those knees or arms of yours. That is okay though because you like them now; even your “big hands” th
at were handed down from your father.
Those same hands will be your strength in the years to come because they will be a key part of you building a future and those arms are just long enough to wrap those you love in the warmest hug.
My darling girl, who told you that your smile was something to be hidden? Who was the first to tell you that girls with mouths as big as yours should try to not smile so wide because people wouldn’t like it?
Child, they were wrong.
What if I told you that as you grow you do not have to let go of that part of yourself? What if I tell you that your smile would be brightening to a room and one of the best things you like to share now? You smile with that laugh that comes from deep in your belly and light that touches your eyes whenever you feel Joy and never apologize for that.
This one is going to surprise you and I’m sorry. Your twin? Same nose, hands, birthmark, temperament and laugh…yeah your Dad?
Your dad will let go of your hand and walk away but guess what you will be okay. More than okay, and you will forgive him too for being the first man to try to teach you that you were not worth fighting for. That is a lesson that you do not have to give power to nor allow it to define you because you my love are everything. That everything you are does include him too Shelly so don’t try to change the good parts of you that remind you of him. It’s okay. Listen to him, share with him and learn all that he is teaching in the only ways he experienced. Be fearless when he teaches you to ride a motorcycle, listen in the church he drops you off at but never enters and pray for him always.
You are strong and full of life. You will be bitter, scared, toughened and hurt for a long time but you have to pull yourself out and allow those who walk in to love you back to life. You have to trust again because some great people are going to come knocking and they will reach for your heart and hand when you retreat. You have a supernatural father in God who loves you without conditions and that love and grace will fill your heart allowing you to wish him and others health and happiness.
All those books you are collecting to read one day? Please read them all and learn as much as you can because those books will take you places you thought were made up. When others say you
read too much; just smile and grab the next book off the shelf (maybe they just haven’t found the right story for themselves). Lastly, just be a kid right now. Laugh loudly, play, climb trees, be honest when you are sad or sick and don’t grow up too fast. Trust me, even now at 26, we have a long road of learning but along the way we can relax. It’s going to be okay. It’s already is.